The Essence Of Confusion

This evening I find myself sat here my feet up on the table, munching on a grab bag of Walkers chicken flavoured sensations, I mean lets be honest at the age of 20 shouldn't I be out this evening? seeing friends, getting drunk and having evening's that I don't want to remember. But in fact I couldn't think of anything worse, I would rather sit here watching sex and the city over and over again, consuming an extreme amount of crisps, blogging and watching my followers slowly increase then continue onto a grab bag of Minstrels, that way I feel like I have accomplished something with my evening, I have reached out to someone out there that Is in the same dilemma as me... Do I go for Minstrels or Crisps first? and I wonder what they taste like together?

Am I totally confused about what's going on in my life right now? yes! I should know what I want to do, I seem to always be the lose end within my friendship group that Is jetting off here there and everywhere, but never actually settling down and moving forward. People Look at my travels and my Blog and say they want my life, it seems so simple! but its really not. I guess I am to strict on myself when I wake up in the morning I want to go out and work, I want to have a busy working life, but I guess I want to commit to to many things, life is to short to be sat at a desk 9-5 not enjoying what your doing, now don't get me wrong some people may love that and its right up their street! but for me no can do, I fidget to much.

My days consist of work around college, blogging and travelling home to get the comforts of a nice warm bed, edible food and to see my two favourite cats in the world 'Tiggy and Tufty'. But is that really accomplishing anything? 

My main problem is committing to something, I change my mind daily about what I want to do as a career and where I want to live. One day I decide I want to jet off to Australia, have another gap year, catch up with some of the bestest friends I could have ever made, but then there are other days where I decide I want to be a designer, but then reality kicks in and I remember I can't draw much more than a stick man, so thats designer out the window. If I were to write down every idea I come up with I honestly could create a dictionary. Trust me  some wild careers have come into mind from Owning a zoo, mostly influenced by 'We bought a zoo' and visiting Australia Zoo, I mean who doesn't want to spend the day cuddling Koala's I know I do? I have thought about being a Police women, then remembered I despise exercise and am also scared of the dark! so maybe not. But wait do you know what does sound ideal becoming a Spy, but I always ask myself how do you even get into that? and lets be honest if the game of 'Mob Mob' is anything to go by when I was younger I certainly do not have the ability to firstly be quiet when needed, being subtle and certainly am not able to creep around without crashing into something, so maybe a spy is off the counter 

I am really hoping there are more people out there that come up with these crazy ideas like me? 

Or am I honestly going crazy? 

In the ideal world my dream job would be a Editorial Stylist and Blogger, but is this just another phase, and I may wake up tomorrow wanting to be a Marine scientist and professional diver because I have been diving once before in my life and now think I am Doctor Dolittle with animals?

Does anyone else have that problem also when your sat there typing and the crisps are looking at your longing you to take a bite, but your reluctant because it will make your keyboard all creasy? Well I am having that problem at the moment and I have serious issues with will power, so guess what... 

My keyboard is now really creasy, but those crisps do taste pretty scrummy 

Is 20 to young to know what you want to do as a career? or do I still have a few years yet to maybe become a Spy for a bit, invest in a chocolate Castle, which by the way is totally doable as the prince on Charlie and The Chocolate Factory Does! Do I buy a zoo? I mean I would have to get my parents on my side and that could be tricky but wouldn't that be so much fun? Or maybe I go to a country where there are individuals that need help, they need advice and guidance in schools and would love to meet people from the other side of the world! 
Has anyone else seen recently that Chloe Green, yes that is Sir Philip Green's daughter is currently in South Africa spending time getting to know less fortunate children that will view that experience as a once in a life time! I take my hat off to her, she could be doing anything now like the rest of her, like me for instance sat doing work, watching Sex and The City and eating crisps but no! she has made the effort to go over there and get involved! 

Maybe I will do that this year, but where do I go? has anyone got any good recommendations or ideas?